The over functioning parent emerges when parenthood is perceived as an “achievement” and we blur the lines between our own life outcomes and those of our children.

CyberParenting Topics on The Fish 103.9FM Tuesdays

In hundreds of conversations with law enforcement, educators and pastors, it is clear that kids are doing things that most of us find “unthinkable” and many parents are caught off guard or remain ignorant.  From sending and receiving inappropriate or sexually explicit photos, gossip, bullying and abusing medications/alcohol, children are exposed to and engaging in activities that are beneath them at earlier ages.

There is no shortage of …

CyberParenting Topics on TheFish103.9FM Tuesdays returns January 8, 2013

 

In a cyber-powered world it is easy to believe we can “Google” everything we need to know.  This power to access information is very seductive, especially for young folks as discussed in a recent Birmingham Science City survey about where kids go for answers, and it isn’t parents and teachers.

But we don’t require a study to know this.  Do we?

The bigger question is: …

One of the most important things we can do as parents is not be fearful when dealing with our children’s circumstances. If your child gets into trouble, the most important thing to do is not freak out, so they can have an opportunity to relate to you about it and seek your wise counsel. We first must be able to help our children know they are forgiven, and their poor or risky choices will have consequences which they can endure, and they can stand corrected.

Our children are raised in a network culture that rejects boundaries and limits. What I love about Peggy’s book is it illustrates how allowing children to be entitled is actually disabling them. In today's consumer culture where parents have become first and foremost consumers, and then "friends," it is so important that as we provide for a modern lifestyle that also includes the blessings of discipline and character.

In this context of the global network culture amplifying all things changing and uncertain, the American Republic is a model of authority that empowers us to confront the bully, or the insecure side, which for the founding fathers was simply defined as tyranny.

 

(Excerpt from Fall 2008 Banana Moments: Family Business Quarterly) When it comes to the law and parenting, a generation ago it was a more simple matter. Parents were “the law”. Children caught doing stupid things that were illegal, such as vandalism, burglary or consumption of illicit drugs and alcohol, would be turned over to their parents.  There was an expectation that the parents would impose appropriate consequences to correct their conduct – and everyone knew …

... “Whether it is meant this way or not, it feels like whatever you do or fail to do in high school determines the rest of your life,” said one class of 2010 Granite Bay senior who further explained that binge drinking and ecstasy are huge releases. “Students work hard and party hard,” declared this same teen...

When our children do the unthinkable, like suicide, use and or abuse of drugs or alcohol, dealing drugs, burglarizing homes, or armed robbery – it is one of the most devastating things that a parent can experience. The idea of “who” their child is, a healthy, productive citizen with a good future, has been murdered by a series of poor choices that can only be owned by the child.

When Al-Qaeda made its menacing presence known to the world on September 11, 2001, it symbolized for me how vulnerable we are in the network culture. The cyber technology that enabled so much prosperity,