I often get calls from parents who are concerned about their kids dyslexia, ADHD, reading, writing, spelling, or math skills. And within our conversations it shortly becomes apparent to me that there is an additional problem that is interfering with their child's learning: having poor executive function skills.

Facebook’s new privacy policy announcement reminds us that the cyber-social realms we navigate make us and our children vulnerable to being exploited, bullied or over exposed. Privacy settings are dynamic and are subject to change depending upon the social media company’s strategy for generating revenues. It is important to help youth understand that when you sign up to use social networking and texting apps like Instagram and Facebook or KikMessenger, the service is funded by selling companies and third-party app providers access to you and your personal data. And in this regard the incentive of the social networking service is not to protect individual privacy. Individual privacy is something that must be defended by every individual user.

In a cyber-powered world, bullying can feel unsurvivable, as the incidents of suicide that make the headlines remind us how fragile and strong we are depending upon our state of heart and mind. All of our children are experiencing and witnessing intense bullying in their cyber social realms, as aggressors, targets and bystanders. Here are some tips for parents:

Christmas is on the horizon, and many parents are faced with important decisions about the purchase of devices for children who are always very eager to jump into the cyber social realm of apps and games long before many parents are confident about managing their on-line experiences. No doubt the management of content with the diversity of devices and apps can feel confusing and overwhelming at times. Every device and every app has its own arrangement of security functions and permissions to navigate, and the stakes are high for very young hearts and minds who also need to learn how to establish healthy boundaries using this technology.

According to a recent NPR report, parents and adult children are living in the same home as the milennial and the baby boomer generations are making choices that resemble an extended family. In my view, the idea of the modern young adult returning home to live with parents after college is a natural consequence of 1) socio-economic trends wherein their first jobs may not sustain a new household and college debt, and 2) a renewed parent-child bond emerging from a cyber-powered generation.

A recent survey found that 80% of UK parents feel that their children are growing up too fast, and the question remains who is in control? The technology (and media), the child or the parent? Many parents are granting unsupervised access to internet-powered devices at early ages, seven and younger, and there is a perception that the kids are growing up too fast. How can we shield children from the risky and evil ideas and lifestyles of popular culture and Hollywood that do not conform to our values?

Parental control settings have limited value, more like the training wheels on a bike. Before long the child will master the device and the controls. Parental controls have value as instructive ways to engage and maintain an ongoing dialog with the child about purpose-driven use of the cyber tools. When the use of parental controls are perceived as training wheels to help the child develop their own self control essential to be secure in the network, the signal conveyed to the child is one of confidence in their ability to become a responsible user. And so the aim of parenting with parental controls is to prepare the child to be in control, and for the parent to monitor in age-appropriate ways.

Return to Contents: 2014 Fall Edition of Family Business Quarterly

 Cyber Rites of Passage

• Setting and maintaining age-appropriate boundaries in this web-enabled environment is tricky and achievable. Ultimately the goal is to groom your child to be self-governing and responsible with the cyber-powered applications and tools.

Rites of passage typically provide some definitive criteria for conferring roles, responsibilities, rights and privileges and social standing to individuals as they mature in society. It is a way …

Fresh Start training, introduced by Banana Moments Foundation, teaches parents the fundamentals of creating a family culture to function more like a sanctuary from the cyber social storm, wherein children feel safe to come home and talk about their experiences on and off line, and then parents can impart wisdom and teach discipline.

The new iPhone 6 and iOS8 was released last week, and as is always the case, new releases of technology bring changes that can be good and potentially problematic. So parents need to be aware of what is involved and have a plan to handle it.