Hero logic and anti-bullying

Monday, May 7th, 2012

Photo: Bohman_(Flickr)

Cyberbullying is the use of electronic media (Facebook and texting) to harass, intimidate or gang up on an individual or group.

Cyberbullying is one of the prevailing concerns of parents and what most people do not realize is that bullying requires a victim mentality as every bully will tell you why they are offended by the target and why she deserves it.

What is required by everyone, including the bullies, the targets and bystanders, is an anti-bully mentality: hero logic.

  • Discuss the concept of being a hero with your child. A hero is someone who will not be influenced by others who try to intimidate, coax, or cajole him into being oppressed by or attempt to dominate others.
  • A hero understands and plays by the rules.
  • A hero views bullies as the opponent. Know yourself and your opponent, and you will prevail. This means you have to know the boundaries of your values -what you will believe and do regardless of what others say and do.
  • Understand the bullies’ point of view (do not necessarily agree with it).
  • Then you can realize that there is a little bully and hero in all of us. Pretty much cuts the bully down to size.
  • Don’t let others define you. Know your identity. (Family values, your friends, what you love, what your talents are, what you stand for – or believe, what impact do you want to have on your family and community)
  • Ask yourself, am I the bully sometimes? If you have been a bully, seek out those you have hurt and apologize.
  • No one succeeds alone. Seek out other heroes, who have a selfless concern for others. These are your allies- they can be fellow students, teachers, counselors, etc.
  • If your child doesn’t already have one, find a mentor, or coach who shares your interests and can support your goals.
  • Make an identity statement about your child’s values, beliefs and greatest strengths. Help your child realize what you admire about her.

Related reading:

 Why kids cyberbully and what to do about it

How teens rule their cyber world

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About Joanna Jullien

Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.