2015 October Monthly Round up
Monday night CNN aired a special feature called “Being 13” hosted by Cooper Anderson, which explored the life of teens in the age of social media. This expose simply reinforces how important it is for parents to maintain an open dialogue with youth about what is happening in their world on and off line.
This is a lot easier said than done for a couple of important reasons. First, mobile connectivity inspires a power crisis as kids can easily believe that access to their device gives them all the knowledge and information they need; hence the role of the parent, teacher or coach – to impart wisdom is – further marginalized. Secondly, in their cyber-social realms, peer communities can become a single point of reference for life wherein there is cruelty and rejection as well as compassion and acceptance. So, when your sense of worth, your source of validation only comes from a cyber-powered peer community, this can inspire feelings of shame as youth experience attacks on their psyche in ever so subtle ways, such as not being tagged in a group photo, and through the outright assault of violent cyberbully campaigns that aim to trample the heart and mind of an individual.
The concerns expressed by the teens in this in this expose centered around feelings of being cut out, completely isolated, and not measuring up to the standards set by the group or society. While the drive to fit in and feel connected is prominent during adolescent years anyway, this drive is intensified and can be used against them in very powerful ways with mobile devices and apps like Twitter, Instagram and SnapChat. Cooper Anderson sums up beautifully how being 13 is different today with social media: “There are so many more witnesses.” When we aim to have a relationship with a crowd, our life focus centers on pleasing people which inspires great anxiety. The simple truth is that self worth is first realized from within and then expressed outwardly; it is that inner knowing that we were created uniquely for a purpose that cannot be found by consulting the crowd or measured in worldly terms (sex, approval ratings, and money).
In my own mind, the greatest crime against humanity happened with the very first lie – ever so subtle, a sophistry which sounds right but is not true – when the inner voice of knowledge suggested “Surely you will not die…” All it takes is one degree out of alignment to miss the mark, the bull’s-eye, that sweet spot in the realm of heart and mind where Divine Love remains, and there is no fear, and which brings perfect peace. I have come to appreciate that lies are subtle, complex, distract us from truth, and disturb the peace; while the truth is simple and brings about peace.
Knowing the truth about your own worth matters in the social network
Last Saturday, parents and counselors met in Carmichael to participate in the Banana Moments Foundation 2015 Fall Symposium on Teaching Your Digital Native to Know Their Own Worth. Now more than ever, teaching youth to know their own worth as human beings is so important because in the social network we all can easily be convinced of things that are not true and focus on things that really don’t matter. We know that the value and dignity of human life cannot be measured by worldly terms, and yet the world can be very convincing. So our challenge is to help our youth learn how to realize their own worth is not earned, but is inherent in their very being as intelligent, caring, creative and feeling human beings.
The speakers included:
- Marie Hall, founder of Living Smart Foundation, (formerly BeMoneySmartUSA)
- Keenan Davis, family services/elder care attorney in Davis
- Janice York, Marriage and Family Therapist in Cameron Park
- and … yours truly
Thank you to Corporate Sponsors
- Living Smart Foundation in Carmichael
- Sierra Vista Hospital in Sacramento
- Beloved Recovery in Roseville
Thank you to our Fellowship Sponsors
Debbie Simpson Gina Maziarz Joyce Jullien Beth Montgomery
Scott Montgomery Bob and Joan Montgomery Emy Kislanka
Below is a recent BMF feature on the topic of the role of money in a life worth living, presented by Marie Hall at the symposium. Look for more features by other speakers in future BMF updates.
Confronting shame as individuals and families in a hyper connected world
Exact date and location is forthcoming
Contact Joanna for sponsorship opportunities: firstname.lastname@example.org
Social media workshop for parents
- October 24, 9am to noon
- Joseph Marello Catholic Church, Granite Bay
The role of the parent in healing a suffering child
- Fresh Start Seminar for counselors & therapists
- November 19, 2015 , 11:30 to 1 pm
- Sierra Vista Hospital, Sacramento
- Contact Joanna at: email@example.com for RSVP information
Fearless Collaboration with Your Adult Child *
- Fresh Start workshop for helping parents who are challenged by adult children with unresolved issues
- January 2016 (exact date to be determined) 9am to noon – $50 (includes Fresh Start workbook)
- Capital Christian Center in Sacramento
- *email Joanna for more information: firstname.lastname@example.org
Fresh Start Trainer Certification for Therapists, Faith Leaders & Educators
- Friday, January 15, 2016 11 am to 3:00pm
- Beloved Recovery in Roseville
*** Speaking Engagements ***
Social media etiquette for youth
- October 16
- Soroptimist in Lincoln (Youth Self Esteem Event)
Teaching youth responsible use of texting & social media
- October 21
- Orangevale parent group
Help for parenting in the social network to strengthen/restore families
- November 3, 6pm
- Interfaith Council of Sacramento
Stress and the overstressed family
- November 4, 6pm
- St. Stephens Lutheran Church in El Dorado Hills
2015 September Features
- Help your tween and teen experience social media limits as freedom
- Kids using secret mobile apps to hide photos and texts: Tips for parents
- Tips to teach your child to respond to the cruelty of cyberbullying
- Social media tips to set your child up for career success
- Teach your child to recognize and respond to email scams
- Setting screen time limits for tweens & teens does not have to be a battle
- How the internet redefines the parent-child bond into ‘trusted friend’
- Bully prevention & intervention strategies for home and school
- Why your cyber-powered child needs your faith
- Tech-savvy tiny tos and teens need to learn wise use of drugs at home
- Making home safe for tiny tots and teens – Drug take back day
- How to prepare your child for the cyberbully: Three things every parent must decide
Stories and devotionals about overcoming emotional difficulties like self pity, anger, anxiety, addiction, low self esteem and more.
ABOUT: Banana Moments Foundation is a non-profit education center founded in Roseville, CA to strengthen the parent-child bond in a hyper-connected world. The BMF mission is to restore families with the mustard seed of faith that declares liberty already belongs to the soul because one God, the Creator of all humanity, grants every human being intelligence and free will to choose what to believe, and that is power that can never be taken, but is easily surrendered to the bully, the drug or the device. To that end, ten percent of all BMF proceeds are donated to prison ministries. Your Donations are greatly appreciated.
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and speaker on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber powered world. She is a mother of two grown sons, the author of The Authority In Me: The Power of Family Life in the Network Culture, produces The Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner column on Examiner.com, and is the CyberParenting advisor on The Fish 103.9FM. Her new book, A Google World in the Garden of Eden: Five Family-Safe Strategies for Texting and Social Media is now available for PC and all eReader formats including Kindle, Nook, iPad.
- Cyber safety for kids and families on TheFish103.9FM (videos)
- Follow Joanna @CyberParenting
- Like Banana Moments
- Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner
- Sign up to receive Banana Moments quarterly and monthly updates
- Email: Jullien@surewest.net