Knowing how to use technology and knowing how to use it wisely to benefit you are two very different things. Tech-savvy kids need guidance on content and appropriate sharing. These are boundaries that promote personal security and build resilience. Your aim as the parent is to instill personal discipline, based upon your beliefs and values, that make it possible for your child to have a reasonably trouble-free on-line experience, and create an on-line profile that is an asset. Below are some conversation tips to help your child be wise in creating on-line profiles.

When to say yes and how to say no to friend requests is an important life skill for youth growing up with the intensified peer pressures of social media. In his book, Hurt.20: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers (Youth, Family, Culture), Dr. Chap Clark concludes that the modern teen, with all of the on-line connectivity to peers and family is an incredibly lonely and stressed out generation of adolescents. And according to Student Society For Science, a recent study finds that youth with too many friend connections in their social networks are at risk for increased levels of stress which floods the brain with cortisol thus impacting learning as well as quality of life and mental health.

In the social network, trust is the currency, and there is always something new to learn about the latest social media apps, changes to the existing most popular social media apps, and the tactics of cyber thieves and criminals to gain our trust and then exploit us. And so it goes with viruses and malware which are scripts and codes and apps designed to exploit individuals by stealing identities from social media accounts and other personal data accounts including banking, and/or to torment through cyber bullying and stalking.

Growing up and parenting are deeply affected by cyber connectivity, as children are natural born users of technology which is constantly changing and requiring well-informed adaptation. And so there is much education required on the part of parents in order to provide the guidance kids need in their cyber social realms.

At the beginning of the year, United Health Care issued a feature about a Pew report survey finding that parents across socio-economic boundaries rank bullying as the number one concern for their children.

Teens today are digital natives (they cannot imagine the world without the internet), and they do not necessarily perceive the distinction between virtual and physical reality.

Effective January 1, 2016, the State of California is enforcing new rules for law enforcement to gather personal data, and for manufacturers of devices and web-enabled services, such as smart televisions and parking security services. The aim of the legislation is to protect the on-line privacy and civil liberty of citizens. And while legislation provides some very important safeguards against the abuse of personal data provided by consumers and citizens, the most important privacy measures are learned and enforced at home. This is to provide an overview of the new on-line privacy laws, and reinforce the things we must do at home to protect privacy.

Social media and texting can inspire a very isolating experience for youth, with chronic stress that can lead to health issues (such as anxiety and depression). And because cyber technology is in every nook and cranny of our lives, home is no longer a sanctuary.

The most challenging “banana moment” for the modern parent is when to issue your child a smart phone. It is a rite of passage that carries with it privileges, responsibilities and dangers tantamount to handing over the keys to the car. And it happens typically around middle school or upper grammar school grades. One of the reasons why it is so challenging to parent youth with mobile devices is that they are empowered by the feeling of no limits to communication, and they will naturally be resistant to parental oversight – especially when shame-inspired content transpires (i.e., sexting, bullying, gossip). And it is easy to keep secrets because cyber connectivity is so clandestine.

It's Christmas time and the number one request will be "can I get a smart phone”? At very early ages, kids desire to have their own device and they will tell their parents "everyone has one” and they will say it like they are dying inside. For many parents this is a very persistent and compelling request. And it is very important that you have a very clear idea in your own mind of when and how you want to see your child learn how to become a responsible user of her own smart phone. If your no is simply “resistance” your child will respond as if you are trying to control him. Your aim, is to say “No” with the authority that is genuine and reflects your confidence to provide direction on how and when your child will gain access to their own smart phone. For some families, it may be upon entering middle school, others high school and still other families may choose not to budget for smart phone services.