Archive for the 'Teen Drinking' Category
Friday, September 16th, 2016
Children receive a lot of input about what it will take to succeed and be happy. How can we communicate the truth that will help them realize their own potential?
Tuesday, March 1st, 2016
What do tech-savvy teens need from parents? They need parents to provide a safe place where they can talk about the real pressures and insecurities they face.
Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
...Whether your child has suffered trauma from bullying, being exploited sexually, failed relationships due to cyber-powered gossip and betrayal, or suffers from addiction to drugs, porn or devices and apps including video gamming, our challenge as parents is to respond to the human condition with a heart at peace so that your child can believe you are a trustworthy resource for prevention and recovery support. Parents who criticize others outted for risky choices and conduct (such as sexting or drug abuse), for example, send strong signals to your own child that is is not safe to talk about what is happening in their world on and off line without fear of retribution; and then it is not possible to impart wisdom. It is not possible to provide the prevention and recovery support kids need from parents for all the experiences in their life that make up critical decision points impacting their personal security. So I have come to appreciate the following clarification for the modern parent when it comes to understanding our role in prevention and recovery for all of the risks life presents our children:
Prevention and recovery are the arms of God’s love. It is a big bear hug that wraps our compassion around the person who is our child; it is our passion for our child to be free from the bondage of any relationship that keeps them aimed far away from the heart of a healthy relationship with God and family.
The big question for the modern parent is: what do you believe about the human condition? Really, how do you perceive sin? Is it a judgy thing that does not apply to you and your child? Do you believe that your sincere parenting will guarantee your child will be safe from the pitfalls? How do you understand the mighty, cyber-powered pressures of the world that intensify bullying, addiction and exploitation?
Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
This feature on the anatomy of a parent's heart draws from Joanna's parent workshop, Fresh Start, which teaches parents how create a family culture to overcome undue influence of texting and social media.
Monday, September 2nd, 2013
CyberParentPower Topic of the Week
Photo by: Lord Jim via Flickr
I recently came across a powerful message about the case for hope delivered by Jeff Cavins, in his talk called Shameless: Seeing Yourself as God Sees You (CD by Lighthouse Catholic Media). He talked about the nature of shame and the role of shame in our lives.
His message made sense to me, especially since modern childhood and family lifestyles with cyber-powered communications is colored by so much raw exposure to messages and experiences that bring in shame to appear as an emerging new norm (i.e., murderous violence and suicide by youth, sexual exploitation, bullying, and commercial and popular cultural influences measuring our worth by standards well beneath us).
Monday, July 29th, 2013
Dr. Angela Chanter, Co-Director of Therapeutic Solutions 360 and Co-Founder of Full Circle Adolescent Services in Roseville, treats youth with mental health issues, including recovery from addiction, as a family matter.
Her patients suffering from anxiety, depression and drug addiction and their families are not protected by healthy incomes and affluent life styles. “When parents who care deeply about their children ask me how much money it will take to help their child get well, I explain that it is more a matter of personal investment on their part to engage and understand their role in the healing.”
Chanter observes that the issue of bonding with teens is a matter of navigating injury, or rough patches, kids experience during adolescence as they begin to separate from mom and dad.
Pre-teens and teens may express their feeling of injury by withdrawing or expressing hostility to any parent attention. Often there is confusion between private and secret, and trust and faith. Children expect to have privacy from parents (which permits risky secrets), and they equate trust as an expression of affection or esteem, much like we place our faith in God.
Who is the “alpha”? Parent or child?
So parents need to first be clear about their role as the custodian. As the guardian they have a responsibility to know their child’s business and respect their privacy, but not grant it. There is a difference. Respecting their privacy means that you do not share inappropriately with others that which is personal and is not your story to share without permission.
Monday, June 10th, 2013
The advent of the mobile phone, along with the Internet is makes it easier for tweens and teens to keep secrets and abuse drugs and alcohol; it creates a perfect storm for the modern drug addict to look like your child. In June 2011, the Center for Addition and Substance Abuse at Columbia University declared youth substance abuse the number one public health problem for America. And by the same token, prevention and recovery measures represent an opportunity to bond with your child about recognizing their issues and their inherent value as a person, as well as their capacity to ultimately be in charge of their own life.
I serve as the Co-Chair for a youth substance abuse prevention organization called the Coalition For Placer Youth, founded in 2008. CPY collects data from youth via anonymous surveys regarding their attitudes and behavior regarding alcohol and drugs. One of the most significant findings with Placer County youth is that parents are not having meaningful conversations with tweens and teens to reinforce the norms for what is legal and safe, and there is a correlation between use and abuse of alcohol.
Parents are largely silent and fearful about substance abuse and addiction. And for the most part, children are making good decisions every day. But as long as parents are silent about the norms for what is legal and safe, adolescents are left with tremendous anxiety as they witness substance abuse and other youth issues not addressed, and they are at risk for other mental health issues, among them anxiety, insomnia and depression.
Monday, April 8th, 2013
Blind spots are the stuff about our children’s lives that we cannot experience or know unless we are open to receiving data about our children, from sources other than our own children that in most cases does not conform to our expectations.
There always have been blind spots in parenting.
However, the advent of the Internet and the mobile phone transformed the dynamics for communications with societal implications that leveled hierarchies at work and home; the model for formal authority that was once tied to social structure (position) carries less significance than it did for previous generations. Titles like “president”, “teacher” or “parent” carry less inherent authority. In a flat world, where hierarchies are traded for networks, authority is more related than ascribed.
Friday, March 8th, 2013
The past few months, the topic of manhood and fatherhood has surfaced in my fieldwork – especially in the wake of the school shootings, and the questions raised in the headlines about the mental health of the young men full of murderous rage.
The absent father in American life is evidenced by an unraveling …
Thursday, March 7th, 2013
As a youth substance abuse prevention activist, over the past ten years, I have come to appreciate that the confusion and fear over the nature of drug and alcohol addiction - especially with minors - has created a code of silence among adults, and driven youth drug and alcohol abuse to levels so extreme it creates a new norm for addiction. In June 2011, the Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse declared youth substance abuse the number one public health problem in America.