Children receive a lot of input about what it will take to succeed and be happy. How can we communicate the truth that will help them realize their own potential?

... it is important to consider how humans are capable of making their own “hell” on earth (i.e., feelings of isolation, powerlessness and worthlessness) by believing things that are not true, acting on them (thus disturbing the peace) and focusing on things that don’t really matter. This is the danger as the cyber realm becomes a single point of reference for life. Bullies, pedophiles and sex traffickers are counting on it...

Daily offers compelling insight about the neuro development of the reward systems of the adolescent brain, the shame experiences of childhood, and the nature of addiction as an illness that can be successfully treated when we focus on the illness, which he posits is not about the drug. “Addiction is an illness resulting from affect dysregulation,” he said. “It is a pathological relationship to intoxication. So it does not matter which drug is involved.”

Cross Roads Church Next Generation Pastor, Dan Britton, has invited me to speak to parents of teens at the South Placer Teen Center about the challenge of parenting tech-savvy teens.

Bob Holmes is a one-man volley ball team who travels the country engaging teens to think radically differently about their value and their future in the face of enormous bullying pressure in their social networks to believe they are small and insignificant.

A Center for Disease Control study on Childhood Stress with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, explains there are three types of stress: positive, tolerable and toxic. Toxic stress is chronic and can lead to health issues. According to the report updated in May 2011: “Toxic stress results from adverse experiences that may be sustained over a long period of time. This kind of stress can disrupt early brain development, compromise the functioning of important biological systems, and lead to long-term health problems.” Along those lines, consider texting and social media as an example of chronic teen stress that can be like peer pressure on steroids and inspire high anxiety.

The most important thing parents can teach children in order to groom them for cyber-safe use of texting and social media is that they already have power and it must be defended. It is like the teacher saying, “You already have an ‘A’. Your assignment is to defend it.” The seminal question for the modern teen is, how much personal power will you surrender to the bully, the drug or the device?

Every day youth are exposed to the latest digital hangouts – most of it is adult swim, content that features bullying (ask.fm, YikYak), addiction (drugs and alcohol glorified) and exploitation (gratuitous sex and consumer hype). This reality of the cyber realm, this brave new world can be intimidating to confront if you are the parent of a middle schooler. A recent Contra Costa Times article featured awareness with the title: “There is nothing simple about parenting in the digital age”. Well, I beg to differ.

Historically the teen and young adult years are perceived as times of separation from parents, but I am advocating for deeper bonding in a hyper-connected world. I will be teaching a 2-part workshop on Fearless Communication with Your Teen and Young Adult in Roseville at Recovery Happens, on 3017 Douglas Blvd., 3^rd Floor, on September 21, 6:00-7:30pm and September 28, 6:00-7:30 pm.

A mother of two grown sons, I …

Event Title: Preparing youth for transitions: middle school, high school, and college Dates: Tues., August 4, 6:30 pm—8pm and encore Wed August 5, 10am to 11:30am