Archive for the 'Family Business Quarterly' Category

Balancing emotion and reason: Taming the mama and papa bear

Thursday, June 12th, 2014
In an article via Mamapedia, a blogger mom, Jenny Ball, expresses her simmering rage in an open letter to an Amway lady who deeply offended her teenage son while he concluded a shift at his supermarket job. The lady was a customer and as he finished bagging her groceries, she made a comment about his acne and then suggested she had a product that would take care of it and left him her card. Personally I recognized this mama bear that surfaced in this blog post. That mama bear lives in me too; and as a mom reformed I routinely redirect that mama bear to her cage. And so I could also appreciate the considerable restraint this angry mom demonstrated not to publish the woman’s contact information as she delivered a diatribe that ascribed misguided and exploitive motives on the part of the Amway lady in question. This mother heart knew intimately how painful that Amway exchange was for her son, which according to her was a kick in the gut to someone who already knew he had an acne problem and was working on it.

How to disable the undue influence of drugs and alcohol

Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Placer County Sheriff Ed Bonner joins Joanna and Jodie for CyberParenting talk on TheFish Tuesday July 17 Placer County Sheriff Ed Bonner Recently I sat down with Placer County Sheriff, Ed Bonner, to discuss youth trends from a law enforcement perspective. And the top of his mind is that heroin has returned as a very real threat to ravage the youth among us. He was concerned because the addictive nature of this opiate can literally rob life from the child and destroy the family if unchecked. “And it is cheap and easy to obtain,” he said.

Preparing for internet porn and sex in the social network

Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Internet porn and sexting is about power and control in the realm of hearts and minds; it is about human exploitation which is glorified on and off line in popular culture and in cyber-powered peer communities. These are adult issues because they evoke primal emotion that can be challenging to tame at any age, and our job as the primary teachers is to help children learn how to discipline their own thinking so they can overcome responses to such worldly images and experiences that can make us feel powerless. Moreover, historically, parenting is viewed as a prevention only exercise. Conventional wisdom of popular parenting culture suggests that if we are good parents our children will become model citizens beyond reproach. And yet, the physical and cyber realms of our world introduce the pressure to surrender personal power (i.e, the free will to choose what to believe and then how to respond) with very seductive, convincing, addictive and exploitative agendas of others that disturb the peace and can disrupt our capacity to think with the mind of our greater selves -the divinity within.

Worrying and caring: Why they are not the same thing

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
So let us be clear. Worrying is not the same thing as caring because it is the product of fear, not love. And worry is in my opinion the most toxic temptation of the modern parent given the truly perilous network culture that encompasses the modern childhood.

Why the modern child and parent need mentors

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
Over the past decade I have come to appreciate that one of the most important things parents can do for the sake of our children and ourselves is to put aside shame. Let us consider the things that show up in dramatic, cyber-powered fashion that impart shame:

‘Pocket Mommy’ and your child’s imagination can quell anxiety

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
Opportunities to impart wisdom to our children involve learning on both the part of the parent and the child, which involves a change in the heart and mind of the individual. It cannot be manipulated or forced. To me this is a sacred process that requires an element of care, or what I call “analog” communication – a passion for your child’s liberty to think for himself.

The practical value of virtues for the modern child

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
More dramatic than the cultural revolution of the 1960’s and 1970’s, the advent of internet and mobile connectivity inspired a radical power crisis for the individual and for the family. In a world, flattened and boundary-less by cyber communications, the opportunity is ripe for the parent-child bond to be strengthened and deepened as a “new norm” beyond that of previous generations. Youth today cannot imagine the world without internet connectivity. They are conditioned for authority differently. The value of hierarchical authority is less prominent; and for this breed of human, authority is a relational experience.

The lessons of parenthood in the network culture

Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
While it can be said that the parents of previous generations would recognize some of the parenting concerns of our time (power and control issues), there remains the fact that every generation is faced with a different set of circumstances involving innovation (for example, what would parenting be like today without the automobile?) and that a reasonably happy parenthood remains a challenge that requires individuals to engage with a heart and mind willing to learn how to express discipline as love language for you and your child.

Don’t let a few bad apples and swing voters empower the cyberbully

Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
Six or seven years ago I came across a prophetic quote from an anonymous teacher regarding the emerging new norm of student conduct in the classroom: “There are a few more bad apples in the classroom, and a lot more swing voters.” These swing voters are more commonly known as bystanders who stand for nothing. Bystanders allow simple acts of rudeness, cruelty and hostility to disturb the peace, making it difficult to learn whether it be in the classroom or on the sports field. Bystanders allow the escalation of hostility powered by texting and social media that convinces a child that there is no surviving it.

How to help kids prevent and recover from risks involving drugs, sex and bullying

Wednesday, November 13th, 2013
...Whether your child has suffered trauma from bullying, being exploited sexually, failed relationships due to cyber-powered gossip and betrayal, or suffers from addiction to drugs, porn or devices and apps including video gamming, our challenge as parents is to respond to the human condition with a heart at peace so that your child can believe you are a trustworthy resource for prevention and recovery support. Parents who criticize others outted for risky choices and conduct (such as sexting or drug abuse), for example, send strong signals to your own child that is is not safe to talk about what is happening in their world on and off line without fear of retribution; and then it is not possible to impart wisdom. It is not possible to provide the prevention and recovery support kids need from parents for all the experiences in their life that make up critical decision points impacting their personal security. So I have come to appreciate the following clarification for the modern parent when it comes to understanding our role in prevention and recovery for all of the risks life presents our children: Prevention and recovery are the arms of God’s love. It is a big bear hug that wraps our compassion around the person who is our child; it is our passion for our child to be free from the bondage of any relationship that keeps them aimed far away from the heart of a healthy relationship with God and family. The big question for the modern parent is: what do you believe about the human condition? Really, how do you perceive sin? Is it a judgy thing that does not apply to you and your child? Do you believe that your sincere parenting will guarantee your child will be safe from the pitfalls? How do you understand the mighty, cyber-powered pressures of the world that intensify bullying, addiction and exploitation?

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About Joanna Jullien

Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.

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