Archive for the 'Children Lying' Category
Monday, August 24th, 2015
Back-to-school is a time of new experiences and new peer groups, on and off-line. Kids will be exposed to new apps and on-line hangouts, where there is always the risk of bad actors taking advantage of vulnerable youth. And banning kids from mobile connectivity and social media is not going to keep them safe, because they can keep their access a secret – making them even more vulnerable.
There will be drama. It is a part of growing up. But certain apps truly stir drama into cyberbully ...
Monday, August 5th, 2013
...In the network culture, hierarchical structure is de-emphasized and formal authority carries less gravitas. The world is indeed flat. And by the same token, children are craving authenticity from adults. So is it really necessary to address elders as Mr. and Mrs.?
It depends upon whether your children look them in the eye and are courteous; and by the same token how the adults treat children. Respect goes both ways, and the adults are the ones who are the “alpha” position; so if we are not modeling and expecting respect in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces, and in our politics, then it is not surprising that we have disrespectful children.
...My philosophy and experience tells me that if children are disrespectful, they are reflecting how they are treated and/or how they view themselves.
Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
Julie Anderson, founder of Your Best Mind in Grass Valley, California, spoke at the Parents Who Rock Meet up in Roseville, California this month. Anderson educates and consults with firms and families on how to understand the brain and personality connection as it relates to relationships and learning. Her message about understanding the brain and the implications for how we parent offers insight for responding to children’s individual reactions to opportunities, constraints and challenges.
According to Anderson, we need to be careful that we do not confuse character with brain types influencing personalities. “Every brain has a lead. It drives the way we learn and perceive,” Anderson said. “And it can be confused with attitudes and intelligence.”
Friday, June 28th, 2013
Children need parents to be engaged, on and off line, in ways that support good decisions, and help them stand corrected when they mess up.
In this regard, liberating boundaries are directly related to training your child to maintain personal security and not get caught into tangled webs of bullying and exploitation by others (commercial or perverse).
Oppressive rules, on the other hand, are rooted in fear in that they are simply an attempt to control the individual. An example would be monitoring your child’s on-line activity for the purpose of correcting your child at every turn and questioning every comment and conversation. By the same token, ignoring your child’s on-line activity leaves him vulnerable to the lies and untruth in the network, feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety and fear.
Monday, April 8th, 2013
Blind spots are the stuff about our children’s lives that we cannot experience or know unless we are open to receiving data about our children, from sources other than our own children that in most cases does not conform to our expectations.
There always have been blind spots in parenting.
However, the advent of the Internet and the mobile phone transformed the dynamics for communications with societal implications that leveled hierarchies at work and home; the model for formal authority that was once tied to social structure (position) carries less significance than it did for previous generations. Titles like “president”, “teacher” or “parent” carry less inherent authority. In a flat world, where hierarchies are traded for networks, authority is more related than ascribed.
Monday, March 11th, 2013
Mary Lisa Patton, BA, CADCI, works with children and families at Therapeutic Solutions 360 in Roseville. “I have noticed that children are getting mobile phones at a younger age so parents can stay in contact with them,” Patton said. “Unfortunately some parents are using the mobile phone as a way to control their children instead of giving them some freedom and room to develop independently.”
Monday, February 25th, 2013
It is easy to be honest when the truth suits us, but when we want to avoid the truth (like a poor choice bringing shame, or a person’s reaction to the truth), or a desire to manipulate others to submit to our own agenda, then we are all tempted to lie.
Monday, January 14th, 2013
In hundreds of conversations with law enforcement, educators and pastors, it is clear that kids are doing things that most of us find “unthinkable” and many parents are caught off guard or remain ignorant. From sending and receiving inappropriate or sexually explicit photos, gossip, bullying and abusing medications/alcohol, children are exposed to and engaging in activities that are beneath them at earlier ages.
There is no shortage of …
Friday, April 13th, 2012
Jeff Mason’s Story
(This excerpt from The Authority In Me, a book by Joanna about the power of family life in the network culture, addresses the challenge of parenting when our children have fallen into the traps of risky choices and buy the lies of the network culture – and how important the voice of parental wisdom is for our children at home and in …
Friday, April 13th, 2012
“I would rather be in prison with a clear mindset than in society as a troubled kid with a substance abuse problem…. My family’s continuous love and encouragement makes me want to be a better person.” – Ryan Crandell