Archive for the 'Peer abuse' Category

The number one cyber concern for parents and what to do about it

Monday, January 18th, 2016
At the beginning of the year, United Health Care issued a feature about a Pew report survey finding that parents across socio-economic boundaries rank bullying as the number one concern for their children.

Is your teen getting mental health advice from the internet?

Monday, October 5th, 2015
Mental health is a touchy subject, and youth are very confident about searching for information via the internet. So it is not surprising that a recent article via BBC News featured a concern that teens are seeking mental health advice from the internet and not involving the adults in their lives. But more interesting to me is that parents were not mentioned as one of the “go to” resources for youth seeking assistance with mental health issues. This made me wonder how parents can realize their role in their children’s mental health.

Tips to teach kids to respond to the cruelty of cyberbullying

Monday, September 14th, 2015
Cyberbullying is an age-old issue, bullying, which is intensified with mass communication power. Insecurity expressing itself with intensity that previous generations have not known, cyberbullying amplifies the perception of power disparity between individuals and groups to disturb the peace in ways that can convince youth who are attacking that there is no limit to harassment, and by the same token for individuals under attack to believe there is no hope for a future. It is a disconnect from truth and powerlessness with intensity that can break a person, which is why I understand youth suicide has become a more common headline than in generations past.

Dealing with middle school hostility on and off-line

Monday, April 27th, 2015
The cyber technology shields people from the emotional reaction to cruel statements, and inspires people to lose inhibitions with illusions of anonymity, believing they will never be accountable for the hurtful things that are expressed. Without a disciplined mind, which I understand to be socialization that involves regarding others as important as self; without the training and guidance of parents monitoring communications on and off line to point out examples of how their child’s own self respect and compassion for another human being is devolving into hostile and unloving ways, our children are experiencing an intensely cruel and vicious bully climate in their cyber social realms and in the flesh. "Go kill yourself. You're a nobody.” – an opening line in a bully letter to a sophomore in high school reported by a Georgia newspaper this month

Access to your child’s social media will not stop cyberbullying

Monday, January 26th, 2015
...Granting schools access to the social media of a child suspected of bullying may complicate things and create more harm. It would, it seems, make more sense to mandate the parent provide access to the account without giving up the password, so as to facilitate the investigation of an incident and limit access for that purpose alone. If the school’s mandate is to stop bullies because of the threat of lawsuits or career black eyes, and the fearful mindset is to seek control of individuals rather than teaching all students involved to expect accountability with compassion and to seek the justice for all involved, then we are at risk of perpetuating the “blame” mentality which inspires more bullying by the “righteous”...

Teaching your child to overcome cyber-powered bullying

Monday, December 8th, 2014
In a cyber-powered world, bullying can feel unsurvivable, as the incidents of suicide that make the headlines remind us how fragile and strong we are depending upon our state of heart and mind. All of our children are experiencing and witnessing intense bullying in their cyber social realms, as aggressors, targets and bystanders. Here are some tips for parents:

How to know if your child is being bullied: A teen’s advice to parents

Monday, October 13th, 2014
Fifteen-year-old Julia Shohbozian of Rocklin has overcome the bully climate at her high school by making her world bigger than the small-minded clicks creating a very hostile social climate on campus. For her junior year in high school, she opted to enroll in independent study and has started taking classes at Sierra College and is very happy that she made a decision to expand her world. She also serves on the Placer County Youth Commission that advises the County Board of Supervisors on matters of public policy and youth perspective. “I realized that if my peers didn’t care about me, then why should I care about what they think about me,” she said, "I am not interested in judging other people for entertainment".

Parenting free will: Dealing with power and discipline issues

Monday, October 13th, 2014
On Tues. Oct. 21 and again on Oct. 22, Rocklin resident Peggy Harper Lee , author of Spoiled: Fresh Ideas for Parenting Your Entitled Child at Any Age (2012) , will be speaking at St. Joseph Marello Catholic Church in Granite Bay about the skills to overcome the power and discipline issues with children of all ages. Lee, a mother of five ages 32 to five, developed the material for her book from her financial consulting practice. She found that many of her client’s financial issues were related to the expenses associated with entitled children of all ages. “Parents today are from the ‘achievement’ generation,” she said, “And so there is a tendency to blur the parenting and child lanes in order to accomplish personal goals.” The net impact can be the formation of a disabling dependency wherein children depend on someone else to be responsible for their lot in life, which is compounded by the network culture that features instant gratification centered on self. Some examples include failure to launch, as adult children lack the motivation to find a way to make it on their own; and expectations that parents will pay for the desires the child cannot afford or for which he is not willing to work; to resistance and hostile reactions to expectations to helping around the house and doing homework.

Tools to prevent cyberbullying for kids and parents

Monday, September 29th, 2014
There are cyber device settings and apps that parents and kids can deploy as a part of your anti-bully strategy. The aim is to create boundaries in the cyber tools and in your child’s own hearts and minds embrace the correct thinking and actions in confronting a bully mentality. The most important thing parents can do is use these tools to inspire open dialogue about recognizing and responding to mean-spirited, nefarious or unkind communications in the children’s cyber social realm.

Overcoming cyber-powered gossip and bullying with humility

Monday, August 11th, 2014
...humility is choosing to assert control over the “smarty pants” self, and stand your ground about where you believe your power comes from in the first place. It is the “What Would Jesus Do” model. When you are feeling uneasy or threatened, it is better to pray about it and trust God with the issue first so you can think and act with an intelligent heart, rather than act out impulsively. Impulsiveness is lack of self control; it can be and expression of insecurity and anger – all of which are powerless states of mind and contribute further to the disturbing of the peace.

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About Joanna Jullien

Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.

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