A Teenager's Guide: How to Get Mom Off My Back. She's Driving Me Nuts!

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

5girls

Problem:

She is always telling me what to do, when I already know!

Frustrated Response:

Snap at her; yell; show her how angry you are.

Result: 

She will keep checking because your response raises doubt for her. You also hurt her feelings every time you yell and are disrespectful.

 Effective Response:

Assure her you know what to do – and follow through with action.  Take responsibility & your Mom will back off.

 Example: Getting up in the morning

Tell your Mom for the time you have set your alarm, and let her know what time she can expect to see you downstairs ready to leave for school in the morning.  As long as you follow through on what you say you are going to do, she will have no reason to keep checking.

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Problem:

I don’t like school. I’m doing what I feel is necessary.  She’s always talking about how I need to do more & it drives me nuts.

 Frustrated Response:
Yell; threaten to quit school.

 Result:

Makes Mom even more anxious and she will continue to make efforts to persuade you to change your behavior. Not because she wants to annoy you, but because your personal development and education is her highest priority.

Effective Response:

Establish good schoolwork habits and routine, and honestly stick to it. She can discern when you are sincerely making the effort.

 She will back off.

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May all your “banana moments” be rewarding as well as challenging.

joanna-0071Joanna Jullien jullien@surewest.net

Joanna married her high school sweetheart and over the  past 25 years they have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from UC Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture) and has over 20 years experience as a professional manager in information technology, manufacturing, energy and environment.  Joanna writes on parenting in the 21st century, as she has observed and personally experienced many strains on the parent-child relationship with the advent of the Internet, mobile phones and popular culture.

Copyright 2009 All rights reserved

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About Joanna Jullien

Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.

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