Here’s the thing about our issues with our kids. It is largely about the parent.
As with any other form of leadership, effective parenting that promotes a peaceful and productive home requires integrity and commitment to be the example. It requires discipline, which at first sounds like a ton of time and attention that we don’t believe we have in our hurried, stressed situations.
The simple truth is that we are actually wired to overcome adversity, and the modern family is experiencing a lot of it.
So my friend and colleague, Peggy Harper Lee and I have started a parent support group because we recognize a genuine need for parents to support and encourage one another in dealing with the modern power crisis of the parent-child relationship that has to do with authority and entitlement.
We call this support group “Parents Who Rock,” which offers insights and perspectives and tips for some of the hot parenting topics. Each meeting features a different speaker, and there is an opportunity for parents to share experiences and perspectives with one another.
Lee’s book, Spoiled: Fresh Ideas For Parenting Your Entitled Child — At Any Age, features a chapter on how to “Be the Rock,” — to let your child test your limits. Our job as parents is to hold the line for the boundaries that will keep them on a course for a productive and happy life. “You are going to implement the basics, shower her with love, be a calm and reasonable role model and discipline consistently,” writes Lee. “And it is going to take a while…You will win, I promise.”
And it is a win/win for you and your child who will never thank you for being the rock until he is leading his own life. I say this from true grit experience.
We are all executive learners…especially the children whose parents are their first teachers. This group offers ideas, tips, tactics, and help, whether you would like your three-year-old to go to bed without a fight, your 13-year-old to get off her cell phone, or your 23- -year-old to get off the couch and get a job.
Next Meet Up June 13, 6:30pm – Mimi’s Cafe in Roseville
At our June 11 Parents Who Rock Meeting we will be discussing: “what it means to be a parent in a cyber powered world”.
Texting and social media present new boundary challenges for the parent-child relationship. What happens when kids believe they can Google anything they need to know? The role of the parent, educator, and coach is edged to the side, and the value of wisdom is obscured by the perception that access to people and information outside of the home and classroom are all that is required to be empowered and liberated.
This is a disconnect from truth which presents a crisis and opportunity to strengthen the parent-child bond with genuine authority.
How is the crisis expressed? Confusion about critical concepts lead strain the parent-child bond:
- Trust and faith
- Private and secret
- Brave and risky
- Forgive and excuse
Leverage this crisis to express authoritative boundaries that strengthen the parent-child bond – especially for teenagers.
- How children are conditioned for authority in a cyber powered world
- Relating genuine authority
- Relationship-rules bonding
- First and second decades of child rearing
- Vision for a family culture as empowerment
To join the Parents Who Rock Meet Up
Proceed to the next article: Why you must believe the change you want to see
Joanna Jullien is an author, educator and speaker on strengthening the parent-child relationship in a cyber powered world. She is the author of The Authority In Me: The Power of Family Life in the Network Culture, produces The Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner column on Examiner.com, and is the CyberParenting advisor on The Fish 103.9FM, Tuesdays.
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