The moral of the story, Anderson writes, is learn to “resist the feed”.

Anderson’s call to “resist the feed” inspires this edition of Banana Moments to feature stories and perspectives about what it means to be a digital citizen, and the value of individual resiliency in a free society.

If we define citizenship as the quality of an individual’s response to membership in a community, then digital citizenship in a free society must incorporate the value of individual liberty and the capacity to “stand alone” at times.

So when does being “connected” to the network actually bully the individual to give up independent thought? When the intimidation is so intense that there is only one option: “go along in order to get along”.

Eventually independent thought isn’t perceived as an option.

Many years ago a 19-year-old boy tried to kill himself by driving his Olds 88 into my VW bug. The Volkswagen lost! My dear friend Dwayne was instantly killed and all of my body was crushed.

It was an event I would not have traded for the world. Let’s discover why!

Return to Table of Contents: 2013 Spring Edition – Family Business Quarterly

The fact that children are natural born leaders is perhaps more elusive in our culture that encourages youth to be power consumers, and is eerily similar to M.T. Anderson’s novel, FEED, featured in the introduction to this 2013 Edition of Family Business Quarterly.

As a mom of two grown sons, I can say that there is definitely more “catering to kids as consumers” …

Blind spots are the stuff about our children’s lives that we cannot experience or know unless we are open to receiving data about our children from sources other than our own children and our own beliefs and expectations about them.

There always have been blind spots in parenting.

However, the advent of the Internet and the mobile phone transformed the dynamics for communications with societal implications that leveled hierarchies at work and home; the model for formal authority that was once tied to social structure (position) carries less significance than it did for previous generations. Titles like “president”, “teacher” or “parent” carry less authority. In a flat world, where hierarchies are traded for networks, authority is more related than ascribed.

Over the past decade, I have had hundreds of conversations with law enforcement, educators, parents, youth and psychologists about the impact of cyber communications on children and families. Cyber citizenship issues for children today are well defined by the most uncivil, risky and criminal behavior law enforcement and educators observe about children using social media and texting:

Sexting (sending inappropriate photos) is more common than parents realize
Gossip is rampant
Abuse of drugs and alcohol
Bullying common – our children are not at peace in their communities
Easier for pedophiles to groom victims because emotionally vulnerable kids using social media may be easily convinced that a stranger really cares about them. (A couple of weeks ago a 15-year old Sacramento girl met a stranger via social media and ran away with him because she believed he loved her. )

A new celebrity backed prepaid debit card, called SpendSmart,recently launched and is aimed to attract tweens, teens and their parents. I wrote a column critical of the bank card because it had penalty fees and it was endorsed by teen idol, Justin Bieber. The CEO of SpendSmart asked me to take a second look, which revealed how the penalty fees could be avoided, and clarified that Justin Bieber is the ambassador, and that SpendSmart was not a “celebrity card” like the scorned Kardashian card of 2010. I will be publishing the second look in the Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner column later this week after a conversation with a Sacramento-based banking professional who is also a parent of teenagers.

Nevertheless there remain concerns about children being targeted for commercial exploitation in the network. Below is a preview of the second look and my thoughts about the importance of helping children recognize personal motivation to purchase products or services, especially financial instruments.

The most important lessons about citizenship kids learn first at home. If we are critical and not supportive of one another as parents then how can we expect our own children to be considerate of one another on or off line? At the end of the day, forgiveness and individual accountability are the formula for a peaceful society. (Thank you for demonstrating this Jesus). And we do not have peace in our society when we are judging others and excusing ourselves. If we are seeking control of others, but not leading with self-control, we are disturbing the peace.

For digital natives, children born after 1990 who cannot imagine the world without WWW connectivity, authority is a relational experience. In previous generations, authority was ascribed to structure, such as a title like parent, teacher or president.

It is true that under the right circumstances and the wrong thinking, we are any of us capable of anything. In the network, this couldn’t be truer. As one teenager put it, “Everything is situational.”