Blind spots are the stuff about our children’s lives that we cannot experience or know unless we are open to receiving data about our children, from sources other than our own children that in most cases does not conform to our expectations.

There always have been blind spots in parenting.

However, the advent of the Internet and the mobile phone transformed the dynamics for communications with societal implications that leveled hierarchies at work and home; the model for formal authority that was once tied to social structure (position) carries less significance than it did for previous generations. Titles like “president”, “teacher” or “parent” carry less inherent authority. In a flat world, where hierarchies are traded for networks, authority is more related than ascribed.

Mary Lisa Patton, BA, CADCI, works with children and families at Therapeutic Solutions 360 in Roseville. “I have noticed that children are getting mobile phones at a younger age so parents can stay in contact with them,” Patton said. “Unfortunately some parents are using the mobile phone as a way to control their children instead of giving them some freedom and room to develop independently.”

It is easy to be honest when the truth suits us, but when we want to avoid the truth (like a poor choice bringing shame, or a person’s reaction to the truth), or a desire to manipulate others to submit to our own agenda, then we are all tempted to lie.

CyberParenting Topics on The Fish 103.9FM Tuesdays

In hundreds of conversations with law enforcement, educators and pastors, it is clear that kids are doing things that most of us find “unthinkable” and many parents are caught off guard or remain ignorant.  From sending and receiving inappropriate or sexually explicit photos, gossip, bullying and abusing medications/alcohol, children are exposed to and engaging in activities that are beneath them at earlier ages.

There is no shortage of …

Chapter 6 – Authority of the Indomitable Human Spirit 

Jeff Mason’s Story

(This excerpt from The Authority In Me, a book by Joanna about  the power of family life in the network culture, addresses the challenge of parenting when our children have fallen into the traps of risky choices and buy the lies of the network culture – and how important the voice of parental wisdom is for our children at home and in …

“I would rather be in prison with a clear mindset than in society as a troubled kid with a substance abuse problem…. My family’s continuous love and encouragement makes me want to be a better person.” – Ryan Crandell

When our children do the unthinkable, like suicide, use and or abuse of drugs or alcohol, dealing drugs, burglarizing homes, or armed robbery – it is one of the most devastating things that a parent can experience. The idea of “who” their child is, a healthy, productive citizen with a good future, has been murdered by a series of poor choices that can only be owned by the child.

I have experienced it. It can be an automatic response to defend our children if they are accused of something we believe they did not or could not do, or that causes us to fear judgment from others, or our child is being treated unfairly.

The techniques now being encouraged in law enforcement would serve parents and children as well.  In a recent story, “Spotting Lies: Listen, Don’t Look”, offers great perspective. The premise is …